VISITING HOME AWAY FROM HOME.

Eli niinkun kuvista näkyy, vietin kesän kotona Australian puolella. Kesäkuun puolessa välissä lähdettiin parhaan kaverin kanssa ensin viideksi päiväksi Tokioon, sielä pariksi päiväksi näkemään Melbournea ja sieltä vielä muutamaksi Sydneyyn ennen kuin kone lähti vihdoin taas kohti Cairnssia. Unelmien kesä ja ihanin tunne ikinä palata takaisin kotiin. Paljon tuli tehtyä ja koettua ja me molemmat palattiin kaksi viikkoa sitten takaisin Suomeen kokemuksellisesti sata kertaa rikkaampina. Tarttui sieltä yksi rakaskin mukaan, katotaan mitä siitä tulee. Uusi matka (jo) suunnitelmissa, mutta myöhemmin nähdään milloin se toteutetaan. 

Teille kaikille juuri kotiin tulleille ja juuri lähteneille vaihtareille haluan vaan sanoa että sinne toiseen kotiin voi aina palata, sen ei tarvii loppua (eikä lopukkaan) vaihtovuoteen. Joten huolet pois ja hymyä huuleen, elämä on ihanaa! 

TRYING TO CONVINCE MYSELF IT WASN'T THE END OF THE STORY.

It has been over 3 months since I flew back home, though I feel like my heart didn't come with me. I guess it got lost somewhere between. While writing this I can feel my eyes tearing up, my mind full of emotions I can't fully express. I have no choice but to face the inevitable; I worked my ass off to create a perfect (nearly at least) life just to abandon it after 12 months. If you've ever wondered about the difference between leaving your life back home and leaving your life in your host country, I can give you the answer. You'll get your normal everyday life in you home country back and it has stayed exactly the same it had been for 16 or 17 years, but you will never get back those 12 months you just worked so hard for. And it sucks, sucks really really hard. 

If you'd asked me, how I've been, I would always respond with good good, same as always, happy. I don't wanna bore people back home telling how much I miss my second home, since I already talk about Australia non-stop. Besides, nothing would change, I'd still be miserable, without an answer to my unsolvable problem, and you'd get hurt cause I don't feel like home anymore. 

It feels like a dead end. Knowing that I don't wanna stay here, but I don't really have that exact second home to go back to. It's someone else's now and without realising I hate that person for stealing my life, although it's not even their fault. They probably have no idea I feel like this towards them, but I'll tell them; wait 'til it's your turn and you'll know what I'm going through. At this moment they're going to my school, my host club meetings, talking to my friends and families, living in my homes and even wearing my school uniform. Living the life I had, just their own version of it. I thought I could never be this jealous. 

I would do anything to get back. And I have; saved all the money I've got and got a job to get some more. I've been working so hard for getting even a glimpse of my other home again. It has paid off, soon I'll have flight tickets booked and my head twirling around Australia again. I promised them I'd be back and I'll keep that promise. 

Just don't get me wrong; I've been happy, I always am. I just wanna be happier and that's all I'm asking for. 

P.S. I don't know if this the end of my blog or not, the time will tell. Those who stayed with me throughout my year, I'd like to thank you. For joining me on the best experience of my life. It changed me for good and I'll appreciate that forever. 

THE END OF SAFARI.

SO THIS IS HOW IT FEELS LIKE, TO BE IN THE RIGHT PLACE THE RIGHT TIME.

Long time no see... English this time so take it or break it. I feel extremely guilty for not writing, mostly because of the fact that I'm living my last days in Australia, less than 50 days left.... and yet I haven't recorded these last and most important memories anywhere. I can't believe how little time I have left... And I can't believe that I made it through. Before coming to Australia I thought that a year would be a long time, but now that it's almost over I can see how time flies. 

Looking back I realise how exciting, amazing and exhausting but so rewarding my year has been. I've been lost and lonely, tossed around and confused, like I didn't belong anywhere. I have found my place and created a whole new life, found my home and after all that I have also been loved and cared for. As much as I have loved and enjoyed this year, after all I've learnt during this time, I don't think I'd be able to do it again. An exchange student year is an experience that everyone should try (and they say if every person on this planet would experience it, there would be no wars) but for me one time is enough. Not that it would stop my eager to travel and live abroad though. World is my home but we will always know where we come from.

I was talking to my (half Japanese) friend the other day and he said the way I act is really different and Finnish in a way. I still don't quite know what that means, to act Finnish, and I guess I never will. I'm proud of that though, it's part of who I am and I'll fight for it. 

It's a funny feeling I have now. My flight has been booked and the returning back home is closer than I can imagine. I feel so excited, that I could almost jump on the plane right now right here. But on the other hand, I don't think I'll ever be ready to leave. I could give everything I have to be able to hug my parents, my siblings, my friends and my relatives right here right now, but at the same time I could give the same to stay next to my family, friends and all the people I love here. In a way I can't wait to get back to normal, but I can't imagine letting go of what I have now. 

I will miss Australia more than I can even think of. I will miss going to karaoke like last weekend with my loved ones. How we were so shy to sing at first, but after a while we just couldn't stop singing at all. 

I will miss Australian parties and events. How they're always so organised and so much more fun than parties in Finland. (You don't need alcohol to have an amazing time with your friends.) I will miss dinners and charities, and how everyone can truly be excited about theme parties (like the onesie party I'm having). How people in Australia like to act instead of thinking.

I will miss long drives to the next town. I could spend hours just going to the city nearest to Cairns. And I could spend less than an hour to go on a holiday, to a paradise, just for fun.

I will miss the weather. How unpredictable it is. Right now it should be bright, warm and sunny like it always is in the winter, but instead the rain is bucketing down like never before. I feel cold when I should feel warm. We wear jackets when we should wear bikinis.

I will miss happy people. How everyone is always so nice to each other, no matter what happens. Yesterday morning I got a phone call but I missed it. When I called back to see who it was, it was a stranger that had accidentally typed the wrong number. We had the nicest chat I've ever had from a wrong number. And he even wished me a good day at the end. 

But for now I decided to feel grateful that I am in the right place the right time.

xoxo Sara

(Third part of safari coming soon I promise!)

SAFARI PHOTOS PART TWO.

! KOALA !